Where Is My Mind?
Tattoo by Yarden at Showoff Ink Artistry in New Haven, CT on January 4th, 2020.
I received my first tattoo of 2020 yesterday. I've wanted a head tattoo since I was 14. I can't tell you why explicitly. I guess at that age I thought it would look badass and make me tough, something the sensitive cry baby in me longed to be but could never quite hammer down.
As I got older my medical conditions seemed to take a turn in a direction I never expected. I started losing hair when I was 21. I always had long, thick, black hair that I could dye any color and it would just live, it felt the most magical thing about me at that age. As time passed I became comfortable with a shaved head and eventually went full on bald, bic razor and everything. I have never felt more confident or sure of myself as a woman and human being in my 30's giving zero fucks about what people think. It felt like the perfect time to tattoo my head.
Yarden popped up on my Instagram feed as a guest artist at Showoff Ink Artistry. I was blow away by the delicate nature of her tattoos, they were beautiful, masterful works of art that capture a feminine energy that not my tattoos can. As I admittedly stalked her Instagram I was she was Israeli and then I was sold. My husband is Israeli and incredibly proud of his culture. He said if I tattooed my head he would finally get a Hebrew phrase himself along with some Sabra fruit (Prickly Pears common in Israel and a nickname for Israelis).
Yarden was nothing short if incredible. We ran into her leaving the shop in the rain and she gave us hugs and asked us to wait. She brought the Israeli sun and cultural open nature with her and it felt perfect in that moment to have do this tattoo. I wanted something flora and delicate, that expressed femininity and also a little insanity. You can't tattoo your head without being a little nuts.
This tattoo will always remind me of Yarden and one of my favorite song, Where is my mind? by the Pixies. This tattoo admittedly hurt but I zoned out and felt myself remembering that sometimes our craziest ideas and places become some of the most meaningful:
This sound has followed me since I first heard the song in my Great Uncles basement with my cousins at 12 years old. It reminds me of being trapped inside ourselves as we gain strength and resilience to overcome our personal struggle. We each have one and we each have a moment of wondering where our brain has gone. This tattoo will remain a constant reminder that at one point in my life I didn't think I'd ever make it, that I would be caught in that struggle forever, but instead with my feet in the air and my head on the ground I learned the skills to spin it and put my head back together.
My experience with Yarden and at Showoff was an amazing one but this time what felt more important was watching my husband get tattooed and interact with Yarden. Seeing him speak a little Hebrew (of which I know maybe 2-3 phrases) and connect with her over thing I could never fully understand felt like an even bigger gift than our tattoos.
I received my first tattoo of 2020 yesterday. I've wanted a head tattoo since I was 14. I can't tell you why explicitly. I guess at that age I thought it would look badass and make me tough, something the sensitive cry baby in me longed to be but could never quite hammer down.
As I got older my medical conditions seemed to take a turn in a direction I never expected. I started losing hair when I was 21. I always had long, thick, black hair that I could dye any color and it would just live, it felt the most magical thing about me at that age. As time passed I became comfortable with a shaved head and eventually went full on bald, bic razor and everything. I have never felt more confident or sure of myself as a woman and human being in my 30's giving zero fucks about what people think. It felt like the perfect time to tattoo my head.
Yarden popped up on my Instagram feed as a guest artist at Showoff Ink Artistry. I was blow away by the delicate nature of her tattoos, they were beautiful, masterful works of art that capture a feminine energy that not my tattoos can. As I admittedly stalked her Instagram I was she was Israeli and then I was sold. My husband is Israeli and incredibly proud of his culture. He said if I tattooed my head he would finally get a Hebrew phrase himself along with some Sabra fruit (Prickly Pears common in Israel and a nickname for Israelis).
Yarden was nothing short if incredible. We ran into her leaving the shop in the rain and she gave us hugs and asked us to wait. She brought the Israeli sun and cultural open nature with her and it felt perfect in that moment to have do this tattoo. I wanted something flora and delicate, that expressed femininity and also a little insanity. You can't tattoo your head without being a little nuts.
This tattoo will always remind me of Yarden and one of my favorite song, Where is my mind? by the Pixies. This tattoo admittedly hurt but I zoned out and felt myself remembering that sometimes our craziest ideas and places become some of the most meaningful:
"With your feet on the air and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Your head will collapse
But there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Your head will collapse
But there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself
Where is my mind?"
This sound has followed me since I first heard the song in my Great Uncles basement with my cousins at 12 years old. It reminds me of being trapped inside ourselves as we gain strength and resilience to overcome our personal struggle. We each have one and we each have a moment of wondering where our brain has gone. This tattoo will remain a constant reminder that at one point in my life I didn't think I'd ever make it, that I would be caught in that struggle forever, but instead with my feet in the air and my head on the ground I learned the skills to spin it and put my head back together.
My experience with Yarden and at Showoff was an amazing one but this time what felt more important was watching my husband get tattooed and interact with Yarden. Seeing him speak a little Hebrew (of which I know maybe 2-3 phrases) and connect with her over thing I could never fully understand felt like an even bigger gift than our tattoos.