I have a Master Degree in FIERCE!

Tattoo by Heather at Earthship Studios 01/17/2020.

Let me start by saying Heather, Earthship Studio and Dora are some of my most favorite things. I feel my most relaxed, most normal, most sane and most appreciated when I'm there. Heather is one of my favorite people to talk to, we can have deep meaningful conversations that I feel are surprisingly therapeutic for us both. Heather reminds me constantly that I'm not too weird, that I'm not too much, that with her I am enough and that my too much will always be enough for her. You don't find that in many people and it's what makes Heather so special.

Which leads me to this tattoo. This tattoo started as a result of an event we all put together called Happy Holigays! We raised money for the Trevor Project, created art honoring World Aids Day and the ladies did amazing tattoos that embraced the LGBTQ+ community including a whole bunch of drag queen portraits. When I saw Raja I just knew that had to be on my body. Heather and I decided to do a different Raja portrait and wait.

I could go on and on about drag queens. Not because they've become main stream, not because of Ru Paul but because of the deep connection I have to them. When I was 12 or 13 I wanted to start doing musical theater. My mother was always supportive of my creative outlets but we lived in a community and a world where I was too fat for lead roles, not confident enough for supporting roles and when I finally went to high school and got major parts, I was too fat for the costume room costumes, my feet were too big, I was too tall. I've always just been too much. I can remember crying in my room when my mom came in with a VHS (yes we did used to actually use those) of the original Hairspray with the fabulous Divine.

We watch the whole thing and my mom kept pointing out how Divine was too much, too big, to tall, to loud, to everything and yet here she was, a man in drag, selling an incredibly powerful message in a mainstream avenue. My mother told me that despite what peers, family, the world may say, I would never to much because just like Divine, I was who I was meant to be regardless of what others thought. She would then join me on the internet (she couldn't use a computer back then) and browse through the few drag queen website to find shoes and clothing that would fit for school plays. If we were in the city she would quietly point out the drag queen friendly stories in the village as we walked and would take me in if I had the confidence. Drag saved my life, drag reminded me that we each need to artistically and intrinsically be our most true self if we wanted to live. As I got older, developed my own Queer identity, became an activist in the community and eventually a therapist and artist in the community, I will always remember my first size 11.5 wide red patent leather pumps meant for a drag queen, that gave me the confidence to thrive.

As drag evolved and began to become main stream and somewhat socially acceptable, I delighted in watching both RuPaul's Drag Race and the Boulet Brothers Dragula. Every night after classes, internship and my first job in the field I would delight in watching the costumes, the hair, oh honey those SHOES! I couldn't and can't get enough. And the along came Raja Gemini. Already a famous hair and make up artist who I had see on America's Next Top Model, Raja was REAL. Honest, upfront, blunt, Raja didn't hold back the truth, wasn't afraid to the game and strived to be the best. Raja also was kind and compassionate, taking on some of her drag sisters as adopted daughters, helping them push their art form higher. I felt a kinship with her personality as I worked toward being a therapist, an honest, real, sometimes too blunt, therapist who regularly takes friend and colleagues with me, mentoring is important. Raja reaffirmed the value of mentorships, honesty and creativity. Watch this person from Indonesia being unafraid and unapologetically themselves lit such a fire in me, to strive to better to more, to be too much. Raja reminds me I am not too much, I can never be too much and I will strive to always be too much.








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