Filling Blank Spaces

Tattoos by Jessika Long at Black Hatchet Tattoos, Wallingford, CT April 2021

So I made the choice is have gender affirmation surgery in the form of a hysterectomy. I feel like my body is this incomplete sculpture. All the pieces are there and in the right order but they added too much clay, sculpted the marble in ways I never anticipated. So it felt fitting that before surgery I had someone I trust fill up some blank spaces on my lower arms, brining them as close to half sleeves as possible. I know when I tell Jess she can do what she wants she’ll give me beautiful things. She designed a monstera leaf and a succulent garden for one arm and candy corn and a little cat butt (that we colored to represent my grey boy Zoodles). They all were adorable and fit right in with the spaces and themes for each arm. Most of all, spending time with Jess is normal, it feels normal, I don’t feel the need to assert my identity or make my differences known, it’s just easy. It was lovely to experience something safe, normal and complete before moving in such uncertainty.