The Origin of Love
Tattoo by Nikki of Fox Den Tattoos in Wallingford, CT December 2020
This tattoo has been something I’ve been waiting for, for 19 years. When I was a freshmen in High School Hedwig and The Angry Inch went from off-broadway show to cult classic movie. I remember my best friend and I watching it for the first time and I can remember feeling valid. I didn’t know the name for my identity at the time. I knew I was Bisexual and I knew I was quirky and loud and flamboyant, loved theater and punk rock. I knew sometimes I wished I didn’t have to play this role of pretending to be overly femme, one of “the girls”. I played my part well to the point where I believed it and whenever I would be racked the existential crisis of my gender I knew Hedwig would be there. With their loud and sparkly personality, with their trauma, flaws and hurt, and most of all with tons of killer over the top clothing and red glitter lipstick.
Throughout my teens and 20’s Hedwig would pop-up and reaffirm the validity of my identity and eventually Hedwig gave me the strength to publicly come-out (slow and steady), to embrace my fabulousness and to embrace that I have no missing pieces and that I am whole.
In this pandemic is became clear to me that I now longer wanted to or was willing to put off the things that would make me feel like the real me. The me with multiple identities, the me who will always live in the gray space, the me that shines brightly and feels whole. And so it was with that intention that I went looking for a hand-poke tattoo artist to do a Hedwig tattoo. And low and behold there was a someone right near by at a local shop that had been on my list to visit.
For the moment I messaged Nikki she was kind, up beat, super supportive and let me ramble on about Hedwig and the meaning of this tattoo. She was excited to do this for me and that made me game. Unlike all my other tattoos this was a brand new experience. I have never had a hand-poke tattoo and had no idea what to expect. Nikki was amazing from start to finish! Incredibly accommodating, put me at ease and had recreated this symbol for me beautifully. If you’re looking for a Queer Safe Space, for a body safe space to get tattooed and if you want to get wicked hand-poke tattoo you now know where to go. Most of all, thank you Nikki for helping me end 2020 by adding a piece to my whole.
