Those Who Don’t Believe In Magic Will Never Find It
Tattoo by Hailey Wheeler of The Wolf Den Custom Tattoos & Gallery Denver, CO March 2022
I decided for my 35th birthday all I wanted was to see my BFF. She lives in Denver, CO and my partner and I had never been so we started to plan what we wanted this to look like. I wanted to create experiences that celebrated friendship, love, still being here. As a queer person still being here, being decently successful, being happy, those are things many of us never get and I certainly didn’t think I’d make it to 30 let alone 35.
When I began to think of how I made it to 35 I began to think of all the things I had faced to get here and how many of those traumas and losses became a beacon for my life’s work. If I had never had an eating disorder, faced abuse or medical trauma what would I be doing? And that’s when it hit me, the magic I so often speak of, that I believe lives innately in others, that is mine. So that was it, I needed to do something that would embrace my belief that magic: queer, matriarchy based, dance in the woods under the full moon, collecting moon water and seeing the souls of others magic was mine and in me and apart of me and frankly the part of me that has keep my heart beating when it felt it’s most broken.
So then the search was who could create a small technicolor magic dream to embrace my acceptance of my magic and the the part of my body that always received the least of it, my belly. I took recommendations from other tattooers and eventually connected with Wolf Den. They kindly hooked me with Hailey who created the most perfect tattoo. If you asked me which tattoo could describe me best it would be this one. Hailey was just the most magical, cheerful, Lisa Frank, Rainbow Brite human and her energy and the shops energy was incredibly welcoming, calming and safe. Safe has become the most important thing to me when getting tattooed. As I’ve come out and transformed I’ve realized how often queer bodies are weaponized and diminished. Being in a space where I could literally let me belly hang out roll and all and feel not one ounce of self-consciousness was beautiful.
Hailey reminded me that there are other magical beings in the world. Others who hold the innate ability to exude empathy, to see the beauty in others, to embrace the child-like wonderment we admonish and belittle in adults, she reminded me so much of why I do what I do and why I fought to stay, in this body, on this planet, in this life. The magic I have to offer if great, and it is powerful, and it is messy and queer and confusing and it is mine. I am a magical being just like how I see each of you as magical beings. I could think of no greater way to celebrate 35 than to be permanently reminded that I am Magical.
